Saturday, August 23, 2008

Collection of famous quotes by Navjot Singh Siddhu


1. That ball went so high it could have got an air hostess down with it.
2. There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it’s that of an incoming train which will run them over.
3. Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.
4. This quote was made after Ganguly called Dravid for a run and midway sent him back and Dravid was run out in the third test against the West Indies at Barbados.“Ganguly has thrown a drowning man both ends of the rope.”
5. Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian taximeter.
6. Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.
7. Wickets are like wives - you never know which way they will turn!
8. He is like Indian three-wheeler which will suck a lot of diesel but cannot go beyond 30!
9. The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me tell you, my friend, that the Kiwi is the only bird in the whole world which does not have wings!
10. As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.
11. The ball whizzes past like a bumble bee and the Indians are in the sea.
12. The Indians are finding the gaps like a pinn a haystack.
13.The pitch is as dead as a dodo.
14. The way Indian wickets are falling reminds of the cycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala, one falls and everything else falls!
15. You cannot make Omlets without breaking the eggs.
16. Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a goal keeper. He must be given a free transfer to Manchester United.
17. He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first two bites too.
18. One, who doesn’t throw the dice, can never expect to score a six.
19. This quote was made after Eddie Nichols, the third umpire; ruled Shivnarine Chanderpaul ‘NOT OUT’ in the second test at Port of Spain T&T. “Eddie Nichols is a man who cannot find his own buttocks with his two hands.”
20. Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.
21. Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two.
22. You got to choose between tightening your belt or losing your pants.
23. The cat with gloves catches no mice.
24. Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.
25. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
26. He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking competition.
27. The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.
28. Kumble’s bowling at the moment is flat as a Dosa.

One Liners from My Desk


oN0 God is real, unless declared integer

o Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left.

o Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

o Home is where the television is.

o Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.

o Death is hereditary.

o Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.

o Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

o When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.

o Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

o Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else..

o Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.

o Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.

o Nobody has ever died of hardwork, but why take the chance.

o Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

o You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

o I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

o If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

o Pessimist: A person that looks both ways when crossing a one way street.

o The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train.

o Where there’s a will there are five hundred relatives.

o I have a drinking problem - I can’t afford it.

o Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

o Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can’t blame on the government.

o The evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

o There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.

o An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

o Who says nothing is impossible. Most of us have been doing nothing all these years.

o Light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off as a part of cost cutting!

o There are some things that money can’t buy. For everything else, my salary isn’t sufficient !!

o “Remember there’s no I in team” … (but there is a M and an E)

o Corporate Motto: READY - FIRE - AIM !!!

o I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.

o I don’t mind the rat race but I could do with a little more cheese.

o They can’t fire me, slaves have to be sold.

o It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.

o You cannot have everything! Where would you put it?

Saturday, August 16, 2008

My Name Published in Graphiti on C2C of Cognizant




Thaks Cognizant................

Some of the Best Moments in Life


-To fall in love.

-To find mails by the thousands when you return from a vacation.

-To listen to your favorite song in the radio.

-To leave the shower and find that the towel is warm.

- To clear your last exam.

- To receive a call from someone, you don’t see a lot, but you want to.

- A good conversation with a sweet person.

- To find money in a pant that you haven’t used since last year .

- To laugh at yourself looking at mirror, making faces.

- Calls at midnight that last for hours.

- To laugh without a reason.

- To accidentally hear somebody say something good about you.

- To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep for a couple of hours.

- To hear a song that makes you remember a special person.

- To be part of a team.

- The first kiss.

- To make new friends.

- To feel butterflies! in the stomach every time that you see that person.

- To pass time with your best friends.

- To see people that you like, feeling happy.

- To use a sweater of the person that you like and find that it still smells of their perfume.

- See an old friend again and to feel that the things have not changed.

- To take an evening walk along the beach.

- To have somebody tell you that he/she loves you.

- To laugh …….laugh……..and laugh …… remembering stupid things done with stupid friends.
………………..

These are the best moments of life….

Let us learn to cherish them….

A B-Tech IT student’s Prayer

The lord is my programmer; I shall not crash.
He installed his software on the hard disk of my heart; all of his commands are user-friendly.
His directory guides me to the right choices for his name’s sake.
Even though I scroll through the problems of life, I will fear no bugs, for He is my backup.
His password protects me.
He prepares a menu before me in the presence of my enemies.
His help is only a keystroke away.
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,and my file will be merged with his and saved forever.
Amen and Amen, Creator

Monday, August 11, 2008

Baby's Day Out


Sooooo Sweeeeet...........

Sunday, August 3, 2008

The Engineers Special….



Engineers Anthem
Hum hoge all clear Ek din, Mann me hai vishwas,pura hai vishwas, hum hoge all clear ek din
Exams
exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aayaKUCH TO HUA HAI KUCH HO GAYA HAI,exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aayaSAB KUCH ALAG HAI SAB KUCH NAYA HAI.
Engineers’ Shayari
Woh Padosi hi kya Jiski khoobsurat Kuwari beti na ho!!Woh Engineering hi kya Jisme K.T. na ho!!!
Top two Engineering Rumours
‘Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm’
‘Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, its been put up at Govt. college ,I got the timetable for this exams’
The most dreaded acronym for Engineers
ATKT ( After Trying Keep Trying)( Aaj Thoda Kal Thoda)
The most important criteria while selecting an engineering college
Girl to Boy ratio ( if more than 0.025% than that college is engineers dream come true)
Engineers at work
Assignments solved by one and then carrying out mass transfer operations throughout the class
The most important machine for Engineers
Xerox Machine ( Without which assignment completion wouldn’t be possible)
The most important table in an Engineers House
The glass table ( to carry out GT operations all night long)
The only que an Engineer is familiar with
Submission Que
An Engineers favourite watch
Bird Watch !
ENgg. Definitions:
Engineering College : Place where you’re punished for getting good HSC marks.
Senior : guys who got ragged as juniors and wanna get some payback…
Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is…
Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.
Really Really Dumb fresher : guy who follows the senior to the canteen.
Ragging : the unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.
Babe : After two years in Engineering, anything remotely female qualifies that title.
Beautiful: 99.99% of the girls are beautiful,rest 0.01% are in my college.
Couple:Rich/Handsome/Intelligent Guys(But everyone pity on them…."Poor Guys") and Girls(Not beautiful strictly…..Coz they are not meant for Engg.) going together.
Female:Anything Female.
KT : makes you suicidal..
Year Drop : makes dad homicidal.
Reevaluation : Cruel joke taking its own time to make you cry… (results of revaluation come after you give the KT exam).
Principal : Biggest idiot on campus. Unfortunately also the most powerful idiot on campus.
Fear : what you feel when the prof who’s signature you forged on the journal hesitates to turn the page…
Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.
Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted in the exam…
Sleep : Huh! What the heck’s that? .
Night outs:A Compulsary substituite of Sleeps.
Lecturars:The biggest Devils in Human,with basic characteristic of torturing students.
HOD:The Don of Devils who’s to be worshipped as GOD.
Marks:Unexpected figures we get after exams.
Term Work:Nothing to do with the work in term.
Oral: Where two people sit and only one person speaks……………………………..the other is student.
Submission work:The work which is to be completed during the submission going on.
Submission:Mission impossible made possible……….somehow
Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper.
‘What is this pal, more than 60% of the paper was out of the syllabus’
‘This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history’
‘I am failing’ !
‘I got screwed royally’
‘This was never asked before’
‘Time nahi mila’
(ironically most of those make such comments get 1st class and those who think they will survive somehow get K.T.)