oN0 God is real, unless declared integer
o Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left.
o Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
o Home is where the television is.
o Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.
o Death is hereditary.
o Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
o Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
o When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
o Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
o Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else..
o Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
o Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
o Nobody has ever died of hardwork, but why take the chance.
o Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
o You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
o I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
o If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
o Pessimist: A person that looks both ways when crossing a one way street.
o The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train.
o Where there’s a will there are five hundred relatives.
o I have a drinking problem - I can’t afford it.
o Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
o Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can’t blame on the government.
o The evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
o There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.
o An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
o Who says nothing is impossible. Most of us have been doing nothing all these years.
o Light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off as a part of cost cutting!
o There are some things that money can’t buy. For everything else, my salary isn’t sufficient !!
o “Remember there’s no I in team” … (but there is a M and an E)
o Corporate Motto: READY - FIRE - AIM !!!
o I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
o I don’t mind the rat race but I could do with a little more cheese.
o They can’t fire me, slaves have to be sold.
o It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
o You cannot have everything! Where would you put it?
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